with a full and humble heart.

that's how I am writing this tonight... today was quite possibly one of the challenging days I've had in quite sometime, but also filled with the most truth.

As previously mentioned, I attended the Beth Moore simulcast at FBCW, to which she was there, live, but also satellites were picking her up in 369 other locations, with over 300,000 other women tuning in from all over the world. I felt such an overwhelming sense of joy knowing that other women from all over were getting to hear the truth and wisdom pouring out of this woman.

LADY IS A FIREBALL. I have always adored her from reading her books and her bible studies. she is a little fashionista as well. such an adorable lady. she is incredibly anointed and had me in tears several times throughout the day.

I also loved spending the day with my girls. It was such a special time for us to come together and really get to be raw and soak in the hard things that we don't always want to come to grips with.

I scribbled 6 pages of notes throughout the day, but here were some high points... well at least for me anyway.

-you have NOTHING to gain from your insecurity.
I love this. so simple... but the reason I think I liked it so much was because a lot of times I think my insecurity stems out from a desire to be humble... and I expect that it'll help me gain something in return. never works :)

-insecurity is not a weakness. it is UNBELIEF.

-insecurity is a form of pride. (going back to the humility thing... insecurity can be the opposite, because it is thinking so poorly of yourself. either way, you're still focusing more on yourself than on who God's made you.)

- "how much does our continuing unforgiveness have to do with our own insecurities?"
that one was a hard one to swallow. think about it.

-it does not honor God to not believe His forgiveness and to not view ourselves in the way that He sees us.

-we are never more like Jesus than when we love someone who does not love us back in return.


some verses I loved are:

• proverbs 31:25
• isaiah 43:18

there's more but I'll update some more throughout the week.
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also- Carly introduced a book to me called "The Inner Voice of Love" by Henri Nouwen. It was written as a journal during what he calls "the hardest time in his life," and years later a friend of his convinced him to publish it. I highly recommend it.

here's an exerpt from one entry titled "Know Yourself as Truly Loved"

"you will discover that the more love you can take in and hold on to, the less fearful you will become. you will speak more simply, more directly and more freely about what is important to you, without fear of other people's reactions. you will also use fewer words, trusting that you communicate your true self even when you do not speak much.

the more you come to know yourself-- spirit, mind, and body-- as truly loved, the freer you will be to proclaim the good news. that is the freedom of the children of God."

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I'm kind of chewing on this stuff right now, but I'm learning so much about the Lord and my heart right now... and all that He's doing within. I'm emotionally drained but my heart is full and overflowing.

so anxious to continue the work being done inside me right now.

be blessed.