back to eden.

so, like every girl... when I started reading, "Redeeming Love," I can never put it down. Since I was a freshman in college, I read it once or twice every year, just to refresh my mind and spirit and be reminded of the kind of love we deserve as well as the kind of love we ought to show others. I just finished it this afternoon for the 8th time or so. it has the same affect on me every time I read it, and I always end up appreciating something different about it each time.

some of my favorite quotes from the book:

"she thought she had been saved by his love for her, and in part she had been. it had cleansed her, never casting blame. but that had only been the beginning. it was loving him in return that brought her out of the darkness."

"with each garment she removed and dropped she cast away anger, fear, and blindness to the multitudes of joy in life, her own desperate pride. she had one single, abiding purpose, to show Michael she loved him, and she peeled away the layers of pride one by one until she was humbled by her own nakedness."

"love the Lord your God, and love one another. love one another as He loves. love with strength and purpose and passion and no matter what comes against you. don't weaken. stand the darkness and love. that's the way back to eden, that's the way back to life."

to give you a little background on the book... Francine Rivers wrote this inspired loosely by the story of Hosea and Gomer, out of the book of Hosea in the Bible. If you're not familiar with the story, the Lord tells Hosea to marry a prostitute. He does and she runs off and leaves him several times, has children with other men, etc etc. He goes back and gets her every time, despite pride. he forgives her. every time. even amidst his friends opinions of her being a harlot, no good for him, etc... he loves her. it trumps everything else. the message of the whole story is to show the Lord's undying love and relentless pursuit for His people. He tells Hosea, "even as the Lord loves." that's how we're supposed to love.

so, as the book is written, Angel (Sarah, Tirzah, Amanda) is sold into prostitution at age 8 by her uncle after her mother dies. her mother was also a prostitute and Angel was the illegitimate child of her and a married man. her father wanted nothing to do with her and ended up leaving her mother. her mother dies shortly after. after being sold into prostitution, she is the "property" of a man named Duke. he uses her for himself and sells her off a high price for other men to use. she escapes Duke and ends up in another brothel, property of a lady named Duchess. she lives an extravagant life, but is still the highest paid prostitute in the area.

Michael Hosea is outside one day when Angel takes one of her walks with her body guard. the Lord told him the first time he saw her that he was going to marry her. Being obedient, he goes into the brothel several times to talk to her and try and explain what the Lord has told him to do. being that she has been used by men her whole life, she has no interest in Michael or his proposal and turns him away every time. he continues to come back until the last time he turned her away, it struck at his pride and he did not come back. Angel offends the body guard and he tries to kill her... in that time, Michael feels the Lord telling him to go get Angel. so a couple of days after being abused, Michael puts a ring on her finger and takes her out of there, injured and all.

the rest of the book shows how Michael's unconditional, nonjudgmental, relentless love for Angel, despite her hard past, all of her shame, and all of her guilt, breaks down every single one of her defenses. she runs off and leaves him numerous times, thinking she doesn't deserve a man like him. having to earn things her entire life, she feels as though he is going to ask her for things she can't give, and so she leaves him. every time, he takes her back. showing grace, forgiveness, mercy, and kindness. he gave her purpose. showed her how to cook, work in a garden, etc. giving her a sense of purpose should she ever be back on her own.

she falls in love with him over time... her calloused heart completely exposed and because she believes he deserves better, she leaves for the final time. she stays. she finds Jesus and then falls back into the hands of Duke, only to realize she has been in God's the whole time. she escapes and eventually owns a safehouse for women coming out of prostitution, teaching them skills and trades and helping them get jobs.

in the end, she returns home to Michael.. 3 years after she leaves. and he takes her back. showing no judgment, casting no blame, just loving her.

there are many significant details that I left out... but I want to leave some mystery for those of you who have not read it :) if you haven't, you should.

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just breaks my heart. this is the kind of love we are called to show every single human being we come in contact with. how many times do we give up on people? judge them? refuse to forgive because our pride is wounded? i'm guilty of all of these things. it makes me so thankful for the Lord's relentless pursuit of my heart, my life and always waiting for me to come back, ready to take me back without blame, every time.

a big thank you and a hug to all the people who truly show me the love of the Lord everyday in the way you love me and others.

wisdom learned.

I got this from Candace's blog. Candace is one of the leader's of my Bible study :) I love her heart and she is so soft-spoken and kind... in 20 years, I'm going to compile a similar list. Bolded are the ones that spoke to my heart. enjoy.

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don't ask, you don't get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

spring.

I found this on another woman's blog that I follow, and it made me happy.

Welcome Spring!

With you comes a new hope of faith and confidence.
I need a change and it comes with your afternoon winds, morning chills,
blooming buds and sweet sunsets.
It comes with children playing outside, sofa pillows changed,
and my home aired out with your evening breezes.
A new beginning and a new start.

Welcome Spring!
(I welcome you with all my heart)

I need more warm weather! We keep getting teased with 1 or 2 days here and there... I got a new sundress yesterday that SCREAMS warm weather. So bring it on.

decorating.

so... I love to THINK about decorating. I'm still in college and I'm on a limited budget. For those of you who have visited my apartment, you know my room is never clean & I still have painting tape on the walls in my bathroom where I NEVER finished painting from last summer (due to my daddy needing his ladder back, in my defense, tehe.) but, our living room and kitchen is just kind of blah. Claire and I are almost never home, and when we are, we just want to eat, sleep, and relax. However, lately, I've been really wanting to come home to a more relaxing place. Our couch isn't really comfortable, we don't have a lot of stuff on the walls, and our walls are a boring white-ish color. In my heart of hearts, I really want an old house with an antique kitchen to come home to, but, due to still being a student, the apartment will do for now. Also, there just hasn't been any time to decorate for either of us, despite the lack of funding :)

my taste ranges all over the board. I'm a huge fan of anything vintage and antique. I love old and modern pieces together and I LOVE shabby chic. I'm also a fan of anything cheap or something I can put together myself.

here are some pictures I found that I just LOVE. seriously... my heart aches that I can't do this for a couple more years. friends, if you're decorating, let me help you so I can get some of this outta me :)

i'm DYING over this kitchen. ^

i get a little obsessed and spend way too much time online thinking about doing this kind of stuff and planning what my house will look like one day.

I'd love to see some of your inspirations :)

DIY.

I'm getting back into crafting. I used to paint and create things all the time... tote bags, canvases, frames, you name it... & I miss it. I realize all I do is hang out with friends, go to school, & work. I don't do anything solely for myself.... so I'm getting back into it and am able to semi afford supplies to be able to work on this. I'm excited!

so... my newest piece is a new jewelry box for my lovely necklaces. I'll post pictures as soon as I finish. I got the idea from ohmyjustdandy. Go to her blog to find some really great DIY projects, she's really talented.

I'll post pictures of the things I'm working on (if I can remember) as I finish them. I'm a little rusty with a paint brush, but I'm hoping it'll all come back to me.

for some amazing DIY projects, check out design*sponge. They have some amazing before and after photos and also some really cool projects that you can do yourself. also, check out ohmydeer for some really creative and precious headbands and other goodies. That's my next project once I finish all the others brewing around in my head :)

I wish I had the creative mind that these women have! I would never think to do any of this stuff... my mother is one of the most creative people I have ever met. She's been sewing for years & I wish I had learned because I'd be in heaven if I was able to sew/knit/crochet the way some of these women can.

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side note: my pandora has been constantly on the "ray lamontagne" station. holy moly. I cannot get enough of him. I had never heard his stuff before, only heard his name... and over a week ago I heard a song, looked it up, and decided I had to have every single song he ever sang. so if you haven't, check him out. he's incredibly talented and easy to listen to.

I'm ready for the summer. One of my best friends, Allie, moved to NYC 3 weeks ago... and Carly and I are going to roadtrip to see her sometime in June. I'm so excited for a week with my girls and also for what is sure to be an adventurous drive there and back, knowing Carly and I. also, I'm looking forward to a couple beach trips with the fam. Every year, my family travels to Destin to celebrate mine and my stepmoms birthdays. We are both July 11th babies :)

SO. I'm ready to be here:


and here:



hope this finds you well.

growth.

ahhh... today is a warm day! praise the Lord! I am so tired of this cold weather. it weighs heavy on my attitude and my spirit. I'm definitely a sunny day, warm weathered type of girl, so I am anticipating many more beautiful days like today.


Like I mentioned in the last post, I'm switching over to blogger. Or back to blogger as I should say. I used it before I used wordpress, but this is just so much more user friendly. So, for my loyal blog readers, sorry to keep switching it up on you.

So, if you've been keeping up w/ my last blog (www.malloree.wordpress.com) then you know that I've been doing a Bible study with some women at one of the churches that I attend. It has been tremendously life altering for me. My prayer life has drastically improved and increased, the trust and love I have for the Lord has grown more than I thought it would... more than it ever has, really. We're studying the spiritual disciplines, out of the Spiritual Disciplines Handbook, inspired by the book, "The Celebration of Disciplines," by Richard Foster. Aside from the being stretched throughout the study, I've gotten to be a part of wonderful community with such sweet women. One of my best friends, Carly, (you can check out her and her husband's blog on the right of my page.. they're adorable!) is the facilitator of my small group and some of our other friends, Megan (whose blog is also on the right side), Jennifer, and Christina are also in the study with us. It's been so wonderful and the 5 of us are planning on doing a study together this summer.

Last night, we talked about "relinquishing the false self." I wasn't sure exactly what this meant... but it means to set aside of let go of any place that we identify ourselves away from God.

wow. talk about something I do ALL the time... put on that false self. I often get caught up in what the people closest to me think and how they perceive me or the things I say and do, or if they truly know my heart and believe that it is good. I have always identified myself more with other opinions rather than with the opinion of the Lord. I get angry at times because I want Him to be more audible with me... when He has told me all that I need to know in His word. The only identity that matter is who He says I am to Him. Obviously parts of us are always going to want to be liked and adored by others, and that is perfectly natural, and hopefully fulfilled by those who love you, BUT... if you're like me and thrive off of others positive and encouraging words towards you, then it is time to stop this. It'll only lead to a negative perception of yourself... this I know from experience.

I'm a words of affirmation person... and in the same way that words make me feel loved the most, words also wound me the hardest. It is important and vital to really understand how He loves us, cares for us, adores us, rejoices over us, sees us as worthy and wonderful, as children that He loves... that we are precious to Him, that He fights for us, restores us, heals us, strengthens us, stretches us, teaches us, and is gracious to us. Always.

without giving too much away :) it has been an incredible study for me and has really changed my way of thinking and really shaken me up from dry spell in my relationship with the Lord. it's also changed the way I view people and the way that I love. although I'm hardheaded and my temper and selfishness still get in the way at times ;) I do feel a restoration happening in my heart... making me more aware and more sensitive to the Lord, really hearing from Him, finding my identity in who I am in Him, and how I'm loving others. My goal at the end of this study is not to be perfect at these disciplines, but to look more like Jesus. SO... with 4 more weeks of class, I've still got some serious work to do.

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on another note! school has started back after spring break. I spent my last college spring break training at my new job... which I'm so glad I did because if I had had to do all the training and studying for my work tests along with my school work... I doubt I'd have been able to do it. It was a tiring, but wonderful week. I'm so thankful to have the job that I have and it couldn't have come at a more perfect time.

only a month and a half left and school will be out for the spring. I am taking a may-mester class so I will not get much of a break... but then I only have 12 hours in the fall before I graduate in December. I cannot believe how quickly things are approaching. It's going to be a wild next few months. right now I'm just trying to stay on top of school work, get at least 9 hours of sleep at night (I can't function or be in a good mood with any less), and work... so needless to say, I'm exhausted all the time. I haven't done much with my sorority since my position has been over. That's taken some adjusting.

This week will be a good one... two of my good friends, Jay & Christian, are moving into a new loft after moving out of the 1080 house (which will always hold a special place in my heart). So I am going over to help them paint & then going to see David Ryan Harris for the first time with friends. I am so excited... John Mayer is tomorrow and the rumor mill is that last time he was in town the same time as DRH, he came to the show and played with him. So I'm hoping and praying that happens.

random thought: I need a new book to read. If you have any... please email me malloree@gmail.com and give me some ideas.

hope this finds you well.

new blog

Friends,

I have a new blog :) this is it.

I'll post soon, but I decided to switch over from wordpress because blogger is SO much easier to use, customize, and navigate with.

stay tuned for new posts... if you'd like to visit my previous blog, it's www.malloree.wordpress.com.

be blessed.