picture update!

woo hoo! i promised ya'll some pictures, so here are some from the last couple weeks! Tomorrow I will have been here for 2 weeks. that is SO nuts to me! life here is crazy and wonderful and full of so much love and heaps and heaps of community. God's presence is so evident and welcomed here. I have had an emotional, difficult, yet INCREDIBLE week and I am absolutely overwhelmed at the goodness of God, the restoration that has taken place, and so humbled to have been a part of such an amazing healing process for my friends and for myself. but here are some pictures to document the week!

P.S. I got a TERRIBLE sunburn! the sun here is so harsh! I wore sunscreen and everything... aHHHH. so you'll notice my nasty peeling forehead in some of these. it only got worse! haha but now it is better. I'll be reapplying every 5 minutes from now on.

P.S.S. I miss and love all of you.

we have a bbq every Wednesday! this is my friend, Sam.

these are cool friends from all over the world! El from UK, Sam from Canada, Emma from Aus, and Sam and I are from the states!

some of my most favorite girls! Courtney, Liz, & Claire!

Me, Maddie (one of our amazing staff) and Liz.

awesome friends at the beach at night!

Sam, me, Cory, Jordan, & Liz!

Wow. too many people to name! super fun night out to Juliette's for gelato and then to the beach!

Melanie, from Germany! Erin (USA), me, Sam, and Claire!

some of our Flat 8 girls before Youth Street's crazy hair day!

beach day! this is me and my friend Sam :)

the beautiful beaches of Townsville.

a week later... our Wednesday night bbq. Notice my sunburnt forehead! I got fried!

oh how I love my buddies! Emma, myself, and Vaughn!

I would not survive DTS without my friend, Liz. kindred spirits.

my fellow southerner from the states, the beautiful Courtney!

there are more pictures to post, but that is all I have time for right now! Hope you enjoy! I can't wait to update you all on how INCREDIBLE identity week has been. so many lives have been set free from bondage and sin and the past and the lies of the enemy... and now people are walking in TRUTH. God is so so so so good. So good. All the time. I have witnessed miracles this week and I can't wait to share some of it with you.

much love,

Mal

chosen and dearly loved

SO... The last few days have been a blast here in the Aus! this was our first official weekend altogether as a DTS, and we had NO idea what to do. unfortunately, it is the rainy season here and so a lot of our plans to do things tend to get rained out. Friday night after lectures, we planned to all go down to the strand (which is a 45 minute walk to the beach) but they have fun little shops and an amazing place called Juliette's that has wonderful gelato and outdoor seating. ALAS, the rain came in and so our plans subsided. we did however still have our ice cream craving, so we all ran, in the pouring rain, to the grocery store to buy our pints of ice cream. DELICIOUS and totally worth it. then we all came back here and played card games. Saturday we had YouthStreet. from 12:30-5 we hang out with the kids and are on different teams with different kids, or crew as we call them. I am on the hip-hop team, so I went and learned a hip hop choreographed dance routine and boy let me tell you... it kicked my butt! It was a blast and so much fun to hang out with the kids... especially in a dance studio with NO air con! we all eat dinner together at 5 and then the crew stay on base and hang out with some of the other staff and play games and do fun stuff. Those of us who were on the earlier part of the day, left after dinner to head down to the beach to finally get our Juliette's fix and some beach time at night. it was SO peaceful. I think we all needed it for a bit. then Sunday we have the entire day off... I started my day off talking to 2 of my besties, Carly and Hayley on skype! It was a glorious beginning to my day! Then we headed to the beach... for about 5 hours. and we were all burnt to a crisp! I wore 55spf sunscreen and I still look like a tomato! I hardly ever burn, but let me tell ya, I made up for it! So we all had a wonderful day, came back and just relaxed, ate dinner, and hung out in the cafe.

I love the community here, but sometimes it is nice to just be alone. We are doing a 24/7 prayer thing here... where we are literally praying for 24/7 nonstop for 2 weeks. I just finished my hour of praying in the prayer room. It was pretty new for me to do something like that... I've never prayed for an hour straight a day in my life. especially not for intercession. so it was really interesting and really neat to see how God can use me in those types of situations when I'm most uncomfortable. Actually, a lot of what we do makes me uncomfortable... because it's so out of my element. But it's so wonderful to be stretched and grown and broken and then restored back together. That's what He's doing here. in me, in my DTS, in our staff, in our state, in our nation...

this week is "identity" week... and the name in itself made me uncomfortable because I am one of those people who has never been sure of who she is. I think there were times I was close, but never have I really understood that the Lord loves ME. He loves me for who I am and who I'll never be. I am a child of the living God. If God is royalty, and I am a co-heir with Him, does it not make sense that we are royalty too? That we are manifestations of God Himself? That we are created in likeness with Him? We are not meant to compare ourselves to the world and to others... we are not of the world and there's a reason that we're individuals and not like everyone else. today when we were in lectures, our teacher, JoAnn, showed us this video called, "The Butterfly Circus." PLEASE YOUTUBE IT. (it's in 2 parts). I'm begging you. and afterwards we went through this activity which I will not post on here, kind of personal, but afterwards, the Lord gave me a song, or a letter, however you want to think about it... just about how He sees me. I can assure you, this was not from my own heart or head because I do NOT see myself this way... but the Lord wants me to. What an incredible feeling to know that you're loved by the Creator. just as you are... no frills or fancies about it. just you.

I also have felt a strong sense of urgency for the youth lately. I've been praying hard into that and just desiring to see hearts change and wants and desires be directed towards advancing the Kingdom of God. for the youth (myself and my generation included) to get over themselves and set their goals, dreams, and expectations down to fully experience what God wants to do with them and through them. we've been talking about that A LOT lately. it is something I am REALLY struggling with... as a planner and as someone who loves to have routine and schedules in their live, and who dreams and plans way far out in advance... this is difficult. but also getting to rejoice in the fact that God longs to dream with me and walk alongside me as I pursue new opportunities in my life. I'm learning that He is a kind God who DOES want to give me the things I desire.

anyhoo- this is sure to be a hard, wrecking week... tomorrow we find out our outreach locations and are given the opportunity to pray about where we should go. so I will keep everyone posted on that. I'll be posting some pictures tonight, but I have to go eat dinner now.

I really miss home. I'm so grateful that I have such awesome community to come home to. Thank you to everyone who reads my blog, reads my emails, and deals with me and supports/encourages me on a daily basis. I am so so so fortunate to have you guys. I am loving you so hard from the other side of the world!

much love,

mal

you've ravished my heart...

Cory Asbury from the International House of Prayer (IHOP- in Kansas City) this is live from one of their sessions. It will BLOW your mind. I am sitting in the cafe at my YWAM base just bawling my eyes out at the lovingkindness of God. we are studying God's character this week and I'm having such a difficult time grasping it all... we're learning to overcome ourselves and truly see God for who He is and see ourselves the way our precious Father does. I think this about sums it up. thank You, Jesus. so crazy to think the Creator of the world is so in love with us... He is taken with us. He has chosen us, so small and so insignificant. some people probably think that's cheesy... but it's so true. It's so mindblowing. I can't even wrap my head around it.

Live Link to listen to the song

“Do you know how you've caught my eye in the secret place where you chose to die?

Do you know the way you move me? I see every time you laid down those other things for me, I see every time you seek my face beloved one. I see every movement of your heart towards me, I do. I see every little movement of your heart towards me. Though you're weak my beloved, I see your love, I see your love. And though it's small my beloved, I see your heart, I see your love. And though it ain't much my beloved one, I see the way that you want me, that you need Me, that you've gotta have Me, I see it. I see every little desire, every little passion, every little piece of hunger, every little thing, I see it all. Nothing goes unseen from My eye, nothing goes unseen from My gaze. Every time you look towards Me, I see it, EVERY TIME you stare at Me I see it, I see your love, how small it may be I see it all my beloved one. Every time you look My way I see it, every time you stare at me I see it. Though it feels a little weak sometimes, though it feels a little broken sometimes, I see every second, every little glance, every little glance my way, I see it, I see it, I love it, I love it, I love you just the way you are, I love you, I love you, listen my beloved one. Every little glance towards me, I see it. Every little time you look at me I see it. Every movement of your heart, every movement of your heart, I see it.

Do you know the way you move Me? Do you know the way you move Me? Do you know? Do you know the way you undo My heart My beloved? I love every sacrifice you've made, every time you say no one cares, I see it. Do you know the way you move Me?

You're beautiful just the way you are. You're beautiful My love, My dove, My favorite one, My joy, I love you right where you are, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. I'll never stop, I'll never stop! I'm so in love with you, my bride, I'm so in love with you my favorite one. With every single little glance, with every movement of your will, with every decision that you've made, I'm undone. I love you with an everlasting love, I love you with an everlasting love. I'm not disappointed in you, I'm not angry with you. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. So don't hide your face from me, I'll break off shame, I'll break off condemnation, it's gone, it's gone, it's gone, it's gone, you're free. You've ravished me, I'm undone, I'm not disappointed, I'm not angry, I'm in LOVE with you! You've ravished me, I'm in love with you.

Do you know how you've caught my eye in the secret place where you chose to die? Where you chose to lay it all down, where you chose to follow me, where you chose to take up that cross day after day after day after day. You've ravished my heart, you have. Just one glance of your eye, just one. My heart it's undone every time you look at me. Everyday that you don't give up, that you don't let go, that you don't look down, my heart it's undone, my heart it's ravished.

Do you know the way you move Me? Do you know the way you move Me?

I saw when you gave it all up. I did. I saw it when you gave it all up. You passed up opportunity after opportunity just to seek me, just to find me, just to love me a little longer, I saw it. And it moved my heart. Don't think those little sacrifices go unnoticed. Don't think those little times go unnoticed, when you think I'm not looking at you. I saw it, I saw when you gave up everything to follow me, I did. I did and I'm pleased, and I'm proud, and I'm not mostly disappointed, and I'm not mostly mad, and I'm not mostly sad, and I'm happy with you and I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. My beloved one.

Do you know the way you move Me? Do you know the way you move Me?

I saw it when you left your friends behind, and I saw it when you left your family behind, and I saw it when you gave up everything just to follow me, just so you could love me a little bit more. I saw it when you left your friends behind, and I saw it when you left your family behind, and I saw it when you gave up everything, when you let go of everything just to find me, I saw it. I'm pleased and I'm proud. I love you, thank you! It really means something to Me that you did it all. It really means something to me that you gave it all up, that you gave it all up, and it's not for nothing, I'll meet you there in the longing. It's not for nothing, it's not for nothing, it's not for nothing. I saw it, I saw it.

Do you know the way you move Me? Do you know the way you move Me?

I saw it when you took the narrow road, I saw it when you took the road less traveled, I saw it when you took that narrow road, it's a little bit lonely sometimes, I saw it. I saw it when you left your friends behind and took that narrow road of love. I saw it. I saw it. I saw it. I love you, and I love you. I love you. I see your HEART, and I SEE YOUR HEART! That you want Me, I see it.I see it. I see it.”

so one of my goals for the next 6 months was to be completely free of my anxiety by the time i left here. one of the craziest things is happening here right now. i always knew that it is totally in my mind... where i work myself up enough to have panic attacks and nervousness that interferes with a lot of things in my life. panic attacks at work and in your bed alone at night are never fun. neither is having to take anti-anxiety meds. SO... what i've been praying through lately is just for the Lord to rid me of that anxiety and worry and to ease my mind. and in the areas where i feel insecurity creep in, that the Lord would remind me that HE is peace. HE is comfort. HE is calmness. HE is NOT worry, insecurity, stress, or anxiety. those things do not come from Him. if i am living in complete and utter surrender to Him then those things should not exist.

i think another thing that has been challenging me that correlates with all of this is that other than my decision to come here on my DTS, i have not really said "yes" to God. when there are things laid on my heart and little nudges that He gives me and i do nothing... it creates anxiety because there is a disconnect there. i worry because i'm not sure if i'm doing what i'm supposed to be doing, yada yada yada. so here i am, saying YES to the LORD. and doing what He has annointed me to do. yikes!

so another friend of mine came to me and told me she struggles with the same thing and asked if we could pray together. i was totally struck by her honesty and sincerity and willingness to confide in me and so we prayed together and decided to keep each other accountable and decided then and there that we were to be set free from that. it's easy to say it all right now because we just got here. however, the real challenge will be when we're homesick, when satan's trying to pry and attempt to ruin what the Lord is doing here. but it is wonderful to have a friend to go alongside it all with. for that i am very grateful.

"cast all your anxiety on the LORD because He cares for you." 1 peter 5:7

today, robyn, the base director, made a wonderful statement she took from loren cunningham, the founder of ywam. she said, "have you ever seen a bird with a furrowed brow? have you ever seen a worried bird? doesn't your Father look after the birds of the air? how much more does He care for you?"

"Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" matt 6:26

friends, i'm surrounded by wonderful people here. we are constantly in community... there are over 100 of us at the base total. always someone new to get to know and love. we are all here for the same reason... to grow closer to our Creator and make disciples. we have over 14 nations here... PNG, Denmark, Norway, UK, USA, Australia, NZ, Switzerland, Germany, etc... and when we're all in worship together, i can't tell you how cool it is that we all know the same songs and we're all singing to the same God, but that He is the same to all of our nations, and the same and also different to us individually. He has spoken individual things over us, but we all get to worship Him together. there is something so powerful in that. sounds so simple, but i've just never experienced anything like it in my life. prayer and worship in every second of the day is so normal here. people are constantly praying with and encouraging one another... i've just been in utter shock.

today has been difficult because we had our orientation and i really grasped the gravity of all that was going to happen while we're here. it's going to be difficult, enjoyable, wonderful, and challenging. God is already STRETCHING me. so hard and so uncomfortably. but i know it is going to bear much fruit. i will do it because He said to.

this is only day 3 and i am wrecked. this is by far the best, hardest place i've ever been in and it's only the beginning. i can't wait to see more.

much love,

mal

pictures!

hello again. i'm back- with pictures. and also my email updates i wrote on word while on my layovers :) enjoy.

JAN. 13, 2010

01/13/10

Hi friends and family! Today has been one crazy, hectic day. As most of you know, I have a little bit of an anxiety/stress problem, so for the last couple days, I’ve gotten zero sleep and been pretty much in a constant state of panic. BUT, on good news, I did not get motion sick on the plane! Which never happens… I got these wristbands that push on your radial pressure point and they worked wonders! So that made me happy.

With all of that being said, I am writing to you from Los Angeles, CA. I’m boarding my flight for Nadi, Fiji in about 2 hours. (Sadly, I’ll only be spending about a 3 hour layover there!) On my flight to LA, I was supposed to sit in the middle seat (of which I was not excited about), but when I sat down, someone was already in my seat, so I got the aisle. Which ended up working pretty well for me. The man sitting next to me was named Jason and we talked for a long time, pretty much the whole flight, while we both played “angry birds.” If you don’t know what it is, it’s a game that you’ll get addicted to, so DON’T download it. he had heard of YWAM and had a friend who was a missionary in Nepal. It was nice and refreshing and calmed my nerves (as well as the 2 bloody mary’s I had on the plane, tehe). I also met a really sweet woman named Priscilla and she and I talked for a while. As cheesy as it may sound, I think God gave me those people to calm me down a bit and ease my anxiety. It made the plane ride seem like it took no time at all.

So, after I arrive in Nadi, Fiji, I board a plane for Brisbane, Australia. Both of those flights together equal 20 hours. Holy smokes. But I am hoping to sleep during a lot of that to pass the time. I’ve already read 2 magazines and I have to admit, my boredom is growing by the minute. My brother was going to meet me at LAX (he lives here) and he ended up having a school midterm that he couldn’t miss. Sad days. Once I arrive in Brisbane, I have an hour layover I believe before I board my final flight, a 2 hour domestic flight to Townsville. When I arrive, it will be Saturday, January 15^th there and it will be 87 degrees and sunny. AHHHHH. I cannot wait!

It is definitely weird flying alone, especially internationally. I was a little worried when I got to LAX, I got about 4 different instructions on how to connect flights and where I was supposed to go. I finally found it and they also gave me a window seat for my flight to Fiji, yesssss. Let the sleeping coma begin!

I cannot tell you how grateful I feel to be doing this and also how humbled. There are so many parts of me that I feel are inadequate and not capable to do this, and even undeserving. But the Lord chose me to do this and so I’m gonna trust it and just go with it. even if it means taking me out of my comfort zone, raising my anxiety through the roof, and having to get shots and take lots of yucky meds while I’m overseas.

I have some prayer requests for all of you:

-as most of you know, there has been extreme flooding in Queensland, specifically in Brisbane and Townsville (where I’ll be). I have a feeling we’ll be doing a lot of flood relief. However, please continue to pray for the country, for the city, for the people, and that we can start rebuilding asap, and for our safety. Several lives have been lost, some are missing, and people’s lives are devastated.

-my nerves. This will be an ongoing thing throughout the duration of the trip. I’ve spoken about it several times, but I get the tendency to get very nervous and overly stressed, sometimes unnecessarily about things. I make myself sick, literally. That’s one of the things I’d like to overcome on this trip. Breaking free from that anxiety and from the worry that seems to follow me around constantly!

-the safety of my team and I and that we would create lasting, positive friendships and be able to work as a team to do what we are there to do.

-lots and lots of opportunities for outreach. We will be in Australia, Papua New Guinea, and depending on which outreach location we all choose individually: Thailand, Indonesia, Fiji, PNG, or New Zealand.

-lastly… where I should go for my outreach. I’m in between a couple of options, and I don’t have to pick for a little while, so I have some time to decide. But just pray that I learn to discern where God wants me to go in the midst of where I want to go. Hopefully they’ll be the same thing, but ya just never know.

Lastly, I am so grateful for all of your contributions to my trip. Whether it be financially, emotionally, spiritually, etc. it all makes a difference and it is a huge part of what gave me the courage to do something like this. My heart literally aches because I miss you so much. Know that I am constantly thinking about all of you. And don’t you dare worry about me for a second. I am alive and well, I am going to thrive, and I am going to be made new. I can’t wait to hug all of you.

Carly, Hayley, Allie, Lark: there aren’t words for how much I miss my girls already. It’s margaritas and ladies night out when I return. You can count on that.

Momma, Daddy, Julie, Marc, Taylor, Isabella, Madeline, Nana, Poppy and the rest of the fam: thank you. Just thank you.

I am a nervous wreck but I am so joyful that it’s RIDICULOUS. The Lord is up to something CRAZY and I cant wait to tell you all about it when I can.

Love you all and miss you something fierce,

Mal

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01/15/10 (sort of 01/14/10, but we skipped that day through the time zones!)

So I am now in Nadi, Fiji waiting to board my next flight to Brisbane. I got a nice surprise, instead of what I thought was an 8 hour flight, I now know that it is only 3 hrs! thus my time is now equaled to 27 hours of total travel. The flight through to Fiji wasn’t terrible. We were in a 747 HUGE double decker plane. I managed to get the window seat, and I got to sit next to this wonderful elderly couple named Eve and Pat LeBlanc. We talked for a long time and then I finally went to sleep. I’m not sure how long it was that I slept due to all the time changes and stuff, but I do know it couldn’t have been more than 5 hours. I’m not sure I’ve ever been so tired in my life! But I am a happy girl. Dinner and breakfast on the plane wasn’t bad at all. The seats were a little snug and I didn’t have much room at all, but I didn’t mind since I had wonderful people to talk to. I did run into a little bit of problems today with the Fiji security. They took every singe mini bottle (travel size appropriate) that I had, as well as my entire makeup bag and wouldn’t let me keep it unless I could get a zip lock bag. Of course, I was furious and really had to try hard not to bite the ladies head off. She even took my chapstick for crying out loud! It’s not even liquid! LUCKILY, this nice man who came through after me gave me his plastic bag and consolidated all his stuff into one bag. So I still have all my goodies.

After this next flight, I have a 2 hour layover and then I am in Townsville! YWAM will have someone there to pick me up and take me to the base and there I will be for the next 6 months.

Fam- sorry I haven’t called. No phone and no reception and also NO internet. I am writing all these posts on word docs. I will let you know I’ve arrived as soon as everything is accessible.

Love you all so much,

Mal

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I'm happy. here are some pictures. i feel like the word the Lord has given to me over the next few months is "thrive." that's what keeps coming up and i will do just that.

PS. that hike is BRUTAL. sam and i only made it 3/4 of the way and let the boys finish it up. goal of the trip, make it to the top. granted i did run 2 miles this morning, haha. but it's gorgeous and totally worth doing it over and over and over.

the fiji airport!

first glimpse of australia! brisbane.

brisbane

brisbane again

flooded area in brisbane.

bunk beds.
my bed is the top one, and that's my wonderful bunkie, sam! she's from canada.

the closet i share with 4 other girls.

my view from my window! beautiful.

our balcony

2 showers and 1 bathroom... for 18 girls! ahhh!

check out our mini kitchen! yes it's outside.

sam and i at the top of castle hill

sweet friend.

where i live :)

greetings from townsville!

hello sweet people.

i'm in the beautiful townsville, QLD, aus. it is gorgeous here.

i'm in a flat with 17 other girls and we are having a BLAST. there are 27 girls and 10 guys in my DTS. i've been up since 4am due to jet lag, and so i went to bed at 9pm, woke up at 4am and then went on an amazing, scenic run through townsville. i'm getting ready to go for a hike now and then maybe hit up the market for a little bit to get some last minute things and hopefully make it to the beach for a little while.

i promise to give you more of an update soon AND with pictures.

much love.

my heart

yikes! 2 days away from my departure. and i am no more prepared than i was 8 months ago spiritually, emotionally, what have you.

georgia has had this major snowstorm the last couple of days and i've been stranded at my best friends house with her and her husband. it's been a blast, but it's been a big inconvenience as far as my preparation for my trip. i tried to drive home today and with rear wheel drive, it was not wanting to drive on the roads and it just left me frustrated and mad. i am very thankful for carly and tyler letting me stay with them. we made hot toddy's, played in the snow at midnight last night, and spent all day watching movies and relaxing.

but i missed my immunization appointment today and i have a rescheduled one tomorrow that i won't be making it to. so that leaves me with wednesday only to get all my stuff done. and for a person with anxiety who's also a planner... it makes it very difficult and stressful for me and making it very hard to enjoy my last few days at home. on top of the fact that my grandparents cannot come up from savannah now because of the weather.

i think it's safe to say that i am a little under the weather. i feel very melancholy and somber. i hate that because i have so much to be excited about. i am about to go on the biggest adventure of my life! so i hate all the spiritual warfare that's attempting to bring me down right now. i will not let it defeat me.

i'm leaving in 2 days, i'm going to enjoy my last few days at home and celebrate the people in my life who i get to spend that last little bit of time with. i'm going to eat my favorite foods, stay up extra late, cry when i think about leaving my friends and fam, watch way too many episodes of "sex and the city," and get all my last minute stuff done with out complaining.

my heart is heavy, but i think it's all mixed together with happiness, love, emotion, and anxiety about leaving. keep me in your prayers friends, my team, this weather, everyone's safety. i need it.