for such a time as this...

so this week was all about having a clear conscience... about being convicted of wrong and RIGHT. which... i have never even considered the notion of being convicted of being right before. conviction seemed to be such a negative word with a negative connotation. so to think of it this way was actually really interesting. we had an amazing speaker, ken, who is the leader/director of our base with his wife, robyn. he was a phenomenal speaker and had us asking ourselves a lot of questions. initially in the week, i was a smidge irritated because i found myself doubting things that i knew the Lord has spoken clearly to me about... but i had to really look at it and understand that i could QUESTION it, i didn't have to doubt it, but also understand and love Godly conviction... and to be convicted that i was actually doing what the Lord told me to do. and that i am exactly where i need to be.

that's one of the things that i keep being reminded of... is that i am exactly where i'm supposed to be right now. some days are really hard, especially the weekends. i tend to miss my friends and family a lot, especially when we're trying to find something to do to occupy our weekend nights. but a couple people have spoken the word esther over me. most of you are probably familiar with the book of esther in the old testament. i won't go into the whole story, but my bible study did a beth moore study on esther almost a year ago. and it was incredible. the thing you need to know about esther is that she was a woman of influence and justice. she was a woman of greta power... inward confidence and beauty as well as the outside, yet she was humble. she was a leader. SO... one of our leaders spoke that over me last week and said that that was the word the Lord gave her for me.. that when she looked at me that's all she was reminded of. which is pretty powerful if you ask me! so this week, one of the October DTS girls came to me and said the Lord gave her the name "esther" for me. so you can imagine my shock! because she didn't know about the other time. so... what she told me was basically the same thing as the other lady and also mentioned that i was EXACTLY where i was supposed to be and in "and who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” (esther 4:14) so it's basically been a reminder that i am EXACTLY where i am supposed to be. that this is where the Lord has me and while there are days that i really don't think my heart can handle anymore spiritually, emotionally, or physically, i know that there is something stirring in my heart. that the Lord is transforming me little by little. ridding me of those gaps and building the bridge between. breaking open old wounds, cleaning them out, and then restoring them and sealing them up for good. it is a struggle everyday to wake up and have to say, "ok God... today... I'm giving it all back. I give it all up." it's like, not the thing you want to pray. because it can be scary to give it all back and see how He runs with it. but all in all, He is a good God. that's a major thing i've been learning. the Lord is for me. He wants to give me good things, but He also wants to sharpen and refine me. so that is where we are now!

so also this week- we had cyclone yasi come through townsville. it was a category 5 cyclone and was apparently the biggest tropical storm that's ever hit here. and you know what friends, there were NO deaths. 1 in 3 houses were destroyed, but there were no deaths. so we are so grateful for protection and provision here! our base escaped unharmed with the exception of no power or a/c for a couple days :) but we were all safe, the buildings are all fine, we had a couple of trees on some houses and a couple power lines down, but most of it has been removed. it's been really cool to see the community coming together and getting the city cleaned up. i don't know about the other cities who were hit, but i can imagine they are all working together as well. all of our power and internet and air-con and water and food and things are all back to normal! yay! so thanks for your prayers, guys. i was in my flat with 17 other girls and no air flow! so i was a smidge cranky and sweaty... but we got through it.

let's see... OH YEA! i found out where i'm going on outreach! i'll be heading to charter towers for 3 weeks and then also to darwin and east timor for 6 weeks. east timor used to be a part of indonesia, but it was massacred a few years ago by indonesia and has since gotten it's independence. it's one of the poorest countries in the world. we'll be teaching some english, working with the orphanages, and traveling to the villages. we can only bring our hiking packs! ahhh! for 9 weeks! hahaha. i love the idea of it and i'm excited for the challenge. so i'll be heading to charter towers in i think around 6 weeks? we're there for 3 weeks and then we come back to the base for 2 weeks and then head out on the major outreaches. we have 4 teams... the first team is going to cairnes, australia for their minor and then doing an amazing backpacking trip to papua new guinea for 6 weeks... they're going to unreached remote villages. so so awesome. the 2nd group is going to mt. isa australia on their minor and then they're doing the papua new guinea medical ship and providing free healthcare to papua new guinea. amazing as well. and the other team is going all over australia for their minor and major outreaches. so as much as i hate the idea of our family being split up for 9 weeks, i am OVERJOYED for us all to have our different experiences and share stories when we get back.

well, this is as much an update as i have time for today, but i will try and update some time this week. i miss my family and friends here, but know that the people here are making me feel right at home w/ their love and encouragement all the time. but it just makes me appreciate the people i have at home so much more. thank you all for your constant encouragement, love, and support.

looooove you.