zeta.

so I have tried to keep my posts, my tweets, my facebook as separated as I could about my sorority life, because I know not a lot of people understand nor want to hear about it... and most people's perceptions of it are usually wrong. I know mine were. but tonight, I am officially an alumna of Zeta Tau Alpha. I have devoted minutes, hours, days, week, months, and years to this organization... held several positions and paid every single cent of it with my own money. I was and still am proud to be a sister and member of this organization. These women dedicate their time and their money and their lives to raising money for breast cancer awareness and education, volunteering at the atlanta food bank, and working with several other local philanthropies and organizations. They plan and put on events for our sorority as well as for other Greek and student organizations. They are fun. They are different. They are special. They are unique. They are talented. I am going to miss my sorority days SO much. It's a little bittersweet, but I'm ready to move on to the next phase of my life.

to my sweet sisters- you've all changed my life. you've bettered me, believed in me, encouraged me, hugged me when I needed it, and let me be bossy when I needed to be :) i am so thankful for all of you and all the roles you have played in my life.

check out these amazing women:

zeta tau alpha fraternity

georgia state zeta's

cheesy.

this is kind of cheesy, but it's a dreary day and it encouraged me a lot. so maybe it will encourage you as well.

On this day, you read something that moved you and made you realise there were no more fears to fear. No tears to cry. No head to hang in shame. That every time you thought you’d offended someone, it was all just in your head and really, they love you with all their heart and nothing will ever change that. That everyone and everything lives on inside you. That that doesn’t make any of it any less real.

That soft touches will change you and stay with you longer than hard ones.

That being alone means you’re free. That old lovers miss you and new lovers want you and the one you’re with is the one you’re meant to be with. That the tingles running down your arms are angel feathers and they whisper in your ear, constantly, if you choose to hear them. That everything you want to happen, will happen, if you decide you want it enough. That every time you think a sad thought, you can think a happy one instead.

That you control that completely.

That the people who make you laugh are more beautiful than beautiful people. That you laugh more than you cry. That crying is good for you. That the people you hate wish you would stop and you do too.

That your friends are reflections of the best parts of you. That you are more than the sum total of the things you know and how you react to them. That dancing is sometimes more important than listening to the music.

That the most embarrassing, awkward moments of your life are only remembered by you and no one else. That no one judges you when you walk into a room and all they really want to know, is if you’re judging them. That what you make and what you do with your time is more important than you’ll ever fathom and should be treated as such. That the difference between a job and art is passion. That neither defines who you are. That talking to strangers is how you make friends.

That bad days end but a smile can go around the world. That life contradicts itself, constantly. That that’s why it’s worth living.

That the difference between pain and love is time. That love is only as real as you want it to be. That if you feel good, you look good but it doesn’t always work the other way around.

That the sun will rise each day and it’s up to you each day if you match it. That nothing matters up until this point. That what you decide now, in this moment, will change the future. Forever. That rain is beautiful.

And so are you.

pleasefindthis

the countdown begins...

FRIENDS. My life is about to get CRAZY.

Let's start with this...

2 weeks from tomorrow (15 days) , I'll be an official Alumna of Zeta Tau Alpha. wow. This has been such a huge part of my life for the last 3.5 years. It's bittersweet to leave, but I am also anxious to start a brand new chapter of my life. I have wonderful memories and friends from my sorority time. It's honestly one of the best things I've ever done.

exactly ONE MONTH from today I will be an official college graduate of Georgia State University. HOLY CRAP. It's taken me 4.5 years to do college, so I am definitely ready to graduate. School has been a wonderful experience, but it has taken a mega toll on my stress, my body, my sanity... I'm also the first grandchild in my family to graduate from college on my mom's side and the first to graduate college with the exception of my dad, on my dad's side. So my family is just as excited as I am, if not more :)

58 days from today I am leaving for what is going to be the most transformational experience of my life. I leave January 13th for Australia and I'll be back at the end of June. the last few months have been a time of intense preparation, spiritually and emotionally, and also trying to tie up all my loose ends at home. I am SO ready to go. be praying for my team and I as we're going to be challenged harder than we have ever been before and also for our safety and for many opportunities to share the love of Christ.

be blessed,

Mal

the hands and feet of Jesus.

friends... my friend mary catherine shared this with us on her blog, and I HAVE to share it with you. very rarely do things move me to tears anymore, or even move me towards action (yes, it is a problem), but this.... this tugged at my heart strings. this had me crying in the georgia state library as I read about a young girl (SHE IS MY AGE!!) that is a legal mother to 14 girls in Africa. she has given up her life of comfort in the US to live in an impoverished area and give care and love and the mercy of Jesus Christ to others who might not otherwise hear it. she runs a non-profit based out of Brentwood, TN. I won't ramble, I'll just let you read for yourself.

this is her blog: http://www.kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/

read about her, her struggles, her losses, her triumphs, and her joys. the most recent blog post completely wrecked my world. I hope it does for you.

one thing that often gets in the way for me is that I have bought into the lie that age is something keeping me from going great lengths and sacrificing all I have to share the love of Christ with others. what a testimony. she started this when she was 18.

seriously. read. donate to her cause if you're able. pray for her and her girls.

with a heavy heart,

Mal

i've been tagged also!

my darling friend, Carly, tagged me and a few other girls in her last post to do this cute little quiz. so here goes :)

Questions for you to answer:

1) If you were a book character, who would you be and why? Include a picture!
if I were a book character, I'd probably choose Bridget from the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series. sounds cheesy I know. but we both share the same zest for life, boys, and our precious girl friends. not to mention, she's the adventurous and spontaneous one of the group! much like myself.






2) Where is the best place that you have travelled and why?
the best place I've traveled to thus far has been to NYC. I know. I haven't gotten out much. I've been to Hawaii, Aruba, Curacao, Panama, San Blas Islands... and out of all of them, Curacao was the most beautiful. however, the only place that makes my heart as happy as it's been, has been NYC. I've been in the summer and in the winter and I have to tell ya, the wintertime is my favorite. there's something magical about it. I'll be heading back this December! I can't wait!

3) What is your favorite blog to read... link it so I can check it out!
my favorite blogs to read are design*sponge and also oh my deer

4) If you could have your dream job, what would it be?
my dream job would be to be a backup dancer for beyonce. i kid you not. i love to dance. i love the queen b. and i would DIE if i ever got to dance for her. that or be a high school social sciences teacher or counselor. but ya know... either one will do.

5) What 3 things can you not live without on a daily basis?
yikes. what a tricky question. 1. chapstick (i'm addicted) 2. down time... i need some time to myself everyday. 3. a cup of coffee. my sanity relies on it!

6) What is your favorite 90s song... only because I was almost too young for the 80s?
favorite 90's song... wow. Can it be something totally cliche? since we lived in the time of the boy bands... I'm gonna go with any BSB song. I looooved *NSync and Backstreet Boys.

7) If you have $1000 dollars to spend in one day friviously, what would you buy/do?
friviously... I'd go to DSW and buy some shoes. then go to GAP and buy as many of their cotton t-shirts for $100 as i could... then, I'd go get a pedicure, a manicure, and a massage... then I'd treat myself to an expensive bottle of wine and if there was any left over, I'd put it towards my next day of splurging.

carly tagged all the girls i would have tagged, haha! thanks carly, this was fun!

putting the pieces back together.

so lately life has been this whirlwind of busyness, no routine, emotions, uncertainty, and to put it simply, just craziness. I have never felt so exhausted and so all over the place in my life. it's really hard to get the motivation to go to class my last semester. I'm doing fine as far as grades and what not, but I'm really having a hard time focusing and giving it my full attention. in my head, I'm done, ya know?

I think will all the transitions that are up and coming in these next few months, I just have it in my head that I want to enjoy the simpler things and spend my last few months before leaving, spending time with friends and family, sleeping in when I can, having fun, and working my little tail off to save some cash. With all that going on, it doesn't leave time for much else :o)

I am still my little busy self, having to schedule time to spend with friends, to take a nap, or to pick up an extra shift at work. I am even having to make sure I'm balancing my time well enough to make it to the grocery store or even get a minute to drop off and pick up my dry cleaning. I'm ready for things to start winding down a little. 18 hours was a lot to take my last semester and with the amount of hours I'm attempting to work every week, things just get a little hectic. and I still need to have a life. I also haven't really been talking about my feelings at all... I've been keeping stuff pent up, because it makes me feel so ridiculous to share some of the things I feel, and I feel almost ashamed sometimes because life really is so sweet and I am so grateful to have an education, a great job, amazing friends, wonderful family, and everything else. just sometimes too much of a good thing is too much.

let's just put it simply... I'm burnt out.

I haven't felt like me for a long time. I'm really trying to find who that is. I know I'm 22 and that this is something that I'm probably gonna go through for a long time, but I just miss being free spirited, spontaneous, and happy go lucky, kinda go with the flow girl that I have been my whole life. I need some down time. I've been skipping class just to have "me" time... time to sleep in, time to clean, time to go get my car fixed, etc. It's just been overwhelming lately.

I'm taking a break from things I feel like I HAVE to do, and focusing on the things that I really need to do, and then the things I want to do, and learning to say no. thanks to my friends who have been so patient with me these last several months. I know I've been such a train wreck. one thing that has been put on the back burner is the time I have spent with God in prayer, in writing, in worship... I had been asked to pick up Sundays for about 6 weeks, so I have not been able to be in the community and church setting for awhile, and I really miss that. by the time I get there, it's super late, and I'm so tired from working all day that I'm just a grumpy mess and I'm not encouraging or positive. I lay in my bed at the end of the day and I literally think, "I'm too tired to pray right now." when I'm in my car, I'm "too busy" on the phone or hurrying to work that I think, "too busy. can't talk to God right now." the other morning, I woke up at 6am randomly... and I really felt God kinda pulling at me to go read/write/spend some time with Him. what a perfect opportunity... I don't have class for a few hours, I won't be hurried. but you know what I did... I laid in my bed for like 3 hours and did nothing until I had to get up for class. insane. I don't recognize myself these days.

My friend from my church, Samuel, said to me the other night.... "you know it's bad when you look at yourself in the mirror and you don't know who that person is anymore." that's kinda how I feel. this isn't who Malloree is.

also- I feel like something is stirring in my life. like God is working something out and He's keeping it from me. It's weird... kind of like I'm waiting for something. BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS!!!! There's been some random, "coincidental" stuff happen recently, that could all eventually tie together, but I have no idea when/where/how/what it's going to be. it's going to be interesting to watch it all play out though. In the meantime, I'm praying for patience (because I have zero) and for discernment and in hopes that I'll be ready and prepared when and if something actually does happen.

on a more positive note... if anyone read about my trip to Australia in a few prior posts, I have a couple of exciting updates about that. I haven't gone into too much detail about the trip, but I promise that I will, closer to the date... however, my biggest obstacle in all of this is myself. overcoming MY fears, MY insecurities, MY skewed view of who I am and who God is and who He is to me.... so with all that, I really have been concerned about how on earth I am going to raise this month ($10,000) before I leave for Australia in January. let me tell you something... if I did not trust God's provision before this, it's the thing I've learned most about through preparing for this. some regulars of mine at my job donated $500 t0 me last week. I've also had a couple of other random donations, I've saved a lot, and family has donated. I have not even sent out my support letter yet... and I am already making HUGE progress. My worry about the money is GONE. It's crazy... there's a calmness there where the fear once was. what generosity from people who just come sit in my section at the restaurant every week... a precious older couple, who is now invested in my journey. I am just so entirely grateful. I'm tearing up as I write this, and it makes me laugh because all I can keep thinking is how stupid I am for doubting God when I knew that this was something He's been calling me to for a long time... and to think He wouldn't equip and provide for me? ridiculous. I am greatly humbled.

more updates on that later though :)

but more on that later. friends, if you read this, just pray I keep pushing through. life is great, honestly I'm just a big baby and sometimes I just get a little overwhelmed. even if it's unnecessary.

ughhhh. haha I can't believe I just shared all of this. how's that for brutal honesty? thanks friends for always being patient, for praying, and for sticking by me when I'm all over the place.

so much love,

Mal

college football season is here!!

it's my favorite time of the year... the weather starts to get a little cooler, college football starts, boots and scarves start to make their appearance and the colors all start to get a little bolder.

ahhh. fall is on it's way baby!

i was fortunate enough to be able to have season's tickets to Georgia Tech football games this year, given to me as a gift. i really didn't get into football until the last 2-3 years, which is surprising because i come from a family of DIE HARD football fans: all teams... UGA, Clemson, Penn State, and also Tech. but after living so close to tech, having friends there, and pretty much spending a good bit of time there... i became a loyal GT fan (for the ACC) and i have always liked Bama for my SEC team, having some friends play football there over the years and also a couple of years spent at Samford in Birmingham. it's safe to say, it doesn't matter who's playing on Thursdays and Saturdays, you can find me either at the stadium or at the nearest Taco Mac... completely devoted to watching as many games as possible.

Georgia State also has a new football program and we played our 1st game this past Thursday against Shorter College and WON! we had a blast. it was such a fun football game. we play at the georgia dome, so it was a surreal experience. i am so proud to be a part of this school and to get to experience all of this happening.

here's some pics from the openers this weekend:

lark and I tailgating before the game!

my darling darling friend, Carly!

me, Carly, and Lark w/ the Wreck!

Lark, Poppa Payne (Lark's dad) and I

Me, my big sister, Sarah, and Nick at the GSU game!

Carly, me, and Hayley at Rocky Mtn. after the game!

Larkle and I

my new little buddy for the season, Baker!

where I'll be on Saturdays!

Hope everyone has a wonderful Labor Day!